


A Reason to Date Spiderman

by pervycricket



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: F/M, Oblivious!Reader, Reader-Insert, Sexual Humor, Shameless!Author, Teasing, The Author Regrets Nothing, embarressed!peter, justafilthyselfinsert, kind of, shameless!Reader, whataretags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-17 05:04:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13651998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pervycricket/pseuds/pervycricket
Summary: Reader tells a good friend why she would totally date Spider man. Just comedy mainly. Smut might happen. Maybe. * Cough cough, Not sure what's gonna happen or how long. I'll just follow my heart.*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I guess it's technically underaged. I might write smut later, I'll see.

“So, What superhero would you date and why?” Peter askes quietly and nudges me a little bit. He’s probably really bored with the video the Ms. Doe is making us watch today. Why not? Not like we have remember any of it anyway. I turn slightly towards him to not draw attention from our teacher and keep my eyes on the video.  


“I’d say Spiderman. He has those cool webs.” He turns his head sharply towards me and looks a little shocked. Ms. Doe seems to shift slightly, but just turns the page on the book she’s reading.

“Why do you like his webs?” He asks softly, seeming surprised at my choice.  
“They seem like they could be a good material for bondage play, also he can like walk on walls and stuff so that could lead to some interesting positions.” I said.  


My lips twitch up a bit. Sigh, I could fantasize as much as I want, but no guy, much less a hero, is going to start knocking on my door anytime soon. Or ever. I’ll just stick with my fantasy men.

Peter seems to be sputtering with a huge blush on his face. That was probably something I shouldn’t have said aloud. Whoops.  
“Haha, sorry I must have corrupted your innocent mind. It’s cute you haven’t thought about stuff like that.” I said.  


He seems almost more embarrassed now and he voice starts to crack a bit. “I-I’m not that innocent you know, I was just surprised. He just seems really young and I thought you’d be more into…older guys like iron man or, uh Thor.”

“Older guys are ok and usually have more experience, but nothing beats a funny, strong and flexible man who can stick on walls and probably open to bondage. Besides, we can learn together as long as he listens to me and I listen to him there won’t be any problems.”  
Peter just looks at me blankly. Did I break him or something?  
“Well, I’m just assuming he’s pretty funny. The YouTube videos of him show he has a good sense of humor, but I wouldn’t know for sure. It’s not like I’ve met him or anything. But hey who would y-”  
“Hey you two! Quit talking.” Ms. Doe calls out.  
“Yes Ma’am.”  
=========Pick up line line break===============My spidey senses aren't the only thing that's tingling...==============  
“Hey, I’ll go get some snacks I’ll be right back!” Peter left his room. We decided to study for physics (because god knows I need the help) and maybe play build some Legos. Which I really, really would rather do than physics.  
“OK cool, I’ll go ahead and get started.”  


Setting all my stuff out for some reason I couldn’t find my pencil. Hmm, well Peter should have an extra I could borrow, but I don’t want to just start digging through desk drawers, that would be rude. Maybe he has one in his backpack. Unzipping it, I stick my hand in and start feeling around for something shaped like a pencil, but my hand ends up clutching something that feels soft, but stretchy. Pulling my hand out I find myself holding a pretty good Spiderman costume. Dang it has the patterns down and everything, never thought they sold these or maybe Peter has taken a sowing class of some sort? The materials pretty cool though.  


A surprised yelp and the shower of popcorn falling into my hair made me think turning around would probably be a good idea. Seeing peter with a crushed plastic bowl between his shaking hands and a horrified look on his face was pretty great. He's so cute when he's flustered. Especially now I found out his little secret.

“Peter, You kinky little shit, I didn’t know you had a Spiderman costume!”  
I didn’t know his ears could get that red. Or his whole face.


	2. Hey look it's Spiderman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cough* ok I lied. I just really love writing comedy with an oblivious person. I'm sorry if it makes you want to bang your head against a table, but I love it lol. I may edit this later for grammar, but I just wanted to post this before work. And I think I figured out how to do the spacing now. So yay!

Being told to get groceries because we just had to run out of the goddamned milk and bread is normal. Too normal and kind of annoying. Tripping while carrying said groceries over an immovable object like because I’m not paying attention is slightly embarrassing, but also normal. Being caught by Spiderman, who was somehow close to me without me even noticing, was not normal. I think I’ve been very good this year for such a nice present. And the fact that he’s been holding me for almost a minute without straining is even better, but very overwhelming.

  
“Uh, Thanks for saving me and my groceries. You can put me down now though.” I squirmed a bit.

  
It was a little frightening being held off the floor against his chest with just one of his arms while he moved to get my groceries. It was like I weighed nothing to him. Jesus he’s strong. Makes me want to swoon a little and gush all over him, but I should refrain and control my loins before I jump him. Jumping Spiderman after he saved me would be a bad idea. Still, this is a great opportunity¬ to grope his at his bicep and damn it feels hard. Same as his chest.

  
“Oh Yeah, Of course Miss.” His voice sounded like Peter’s! It’s deeper though and he has a thicker accent. And the idea of Peter being Spiderman is such a funny thought. I mean, how would he have time for his internship, especially with Mr. Stark always messaging him and getting him out of class and just thinking of how hard it would be to get homework done between being a hero and working an internship hurts my head.  
“Thanks Spiderman! Well, I’ll head off now, but thanks again!"  
I reach for my bag, but he moves it away and holds out his other arm for me.

  
“It’s pretty late out, I’ll walk you home. I wouldn’t want a pretty girl like yourself getting hurt.”

  
He has a nice voice, tall, could probably hold me up for a long time, nice ass and polite?

  
“Fuck, just take me now why don’t you?”

  
He wheezes a bit. Oh, that probably wasn’t a good thing to say.

  
“I mean home. My home, specifically.” I said quickly. Nailed it. He totally won’t know I want kinky sex.

  
“R-Right, yes, ok, let’s do that Yup.”

  
While walking arm in arm with the motherfucking Spiderman, who smells just as delightful as I’d thought, I figured I’d might as well use this time to ask some questions. Hmm…He should know Peter. That wouldn’t be a horrible conversation starter. Much better than asking if he’s single.

  
“Hey so do you know Peter Parker, He has an internship with Mr. Stark and since your kind of in the avengers you’ve might have met him. Maybe.”

  
He seems to twitch a little but responds without a beat. “Yeah I’ve met him a couple of times. He’s a really cool and smart guy. Why do you ask? Do you, uh, have a crush on him? Maybe?”

  
“Well, he’s a good friend of mine and he is cute. He’s super nice making time for me to help me with homework when he can. So, maybe, but I don’t think he could ever see me like that.”

  
“Why do you think he’d never like you like that?”

  
“Haha, I’m pretty sure if he did I’d know by now.”

  
“…. Really?”

  
“Yeah, I’m not oblivious to things like that. I’m confident I’d know if someone liked me and we’ve known each other for a long time, so if peter started to act strange I’d know. Peter did seem to have a fever last week with how red his face was and how he stared off into space in my direction, but he seemed to be ok during the end of the day. He must have been just getting over a cold or something.”

  
Spiderman shrugs his shoulders a bit while covering his hand and lets out a weird coughing sound. Is he sick or something? Maybe something is going around? I’ll have to be careful. We started chatting about some of his major battles and how he even fought Captain America! We joked more till we finally reached my apartment, where he finally handing back my groceries.

  
“Well, thanks for walking me home, that was super sweet of you and it was really nice to meet you!” And for ignoring my take me comment. That was nice.

  
“Oh, No Problem It’s what I do.” He puffed up his chest a bit. “Well, I better get back on patrol, I swing around the area time to time, so I could stop by every week or so just to check on the area and talk. If you want.”

  
“That would be awesome! It was nice talking to you and I wouldn’t mind at all.”

  
“Well, I better go stay safe (Y/N)!” He turns around and starts walking away. His ass just heals my heart.

  
Whispering to myself, I can’t help but say, “Hate to see them go, but love to watch them leave.”

  
Spiderman suddenly tripped, but quickly regained his balance and walked a bit faster. He must have been a little embarrassed at tripping. Ah, so cute. I snicker to myself and head inside my apartment. The groceries put up and with homework to do I started to work at the table.

  
Working for about three hours I suddenly looked up and blurted out my realization.  


“Wait. I never told him my name.”


End file.
